Struggling with Results Day Anxiety? Here’s What No One Tells You About Support

Finding Steady Ground in Times of Change

Results day. University offers. Empty bedrooms. Empty Nests. New beginnings.

Life is full of transitions. And while they may look exciting on the outside, inside, they can feel like free-fall.

Whether you're a student who didn’t get the grades you expected, a young person stepping into the unknown of university life, or a parent sitting in the impending quiet of an emptying nest, change can shake us. And when it shakes, the nervous system wobbles.

Sometimes, all we need is a steady arm to hold as we put on our shoe!

Think of that moment: balanced on one foot, tugging at the heel, wobbling. Then someone offers an arm for you to steady yourself with. Not putting the shoe on for you, not doing the work you still need to do, or trying to walk a path only you can walk, but steadying you so you can do your task and get back to your own balance. That’s what true support is. You’re still the one stepping forward, but the hand on the arm keeps you upright when everything feels unbalanced.

That’s what I offer. That’s what sessions with me, and tools like Havening, can be.

Many people hold back from seeking support because they don’t think of themselves as traumatised. They imagine trauma as something catastrophic, and so they minimise their own experience. I’m just anxious. I’m just overthinking. I should be coping. All parents feel this way, everyone else copes.

But support isn’t only for those who’ve been through the unthinkable. Support is for the wobble too. And in some cases, steadying the wobble can prevent trauma encoding at all.

It’s for the racing thoughts at 2am.

It’s for the quiet ache when your child no longer needs you in the same way.

It’s for the panic that someone might hurt them, or they make an impulsive decision.

It’s for the fear that this new chapter might expose everything you’ve been trying to keep hidden.

It’s for the shame that creeps in when the grades don’t match the story you thought you had to live out.

It’s for the guilt of wondering if you did enough as a parent.

It’s for the knot in your stomach when everyone else seems to be coping better than you.

It’s for the silent pressure to smile and celebrate when inside you’re crumbling a little.

These and many more are natural responses. Nothing is wrong with you for feeling them. But when they pile up, they can push you from steady into suffering. That’s where support matters. Havening, a neuroscience-based touch therapy, helps reset the nervous system, calm the brain’s alarm system, and bring you back to centre. It reduces the cortisol hormones that spike when were are very stressed and can build up over time. Havening is also an amazing tool for future-based work, so perfect for the transition to university.

From an early age, we’re handed a script: school, A-Levels, university, career, success, happiness. 

But what happens when you don’t get the grades to follow that path? What if you realise you never actually wanted it?

Suddenly, it feels like failure.

But that isn’t truth. That’s programming. Cultural, generational, familial. Schools offer a narrow route. Families compare cousins. TV serve us one idea of success. Social media shouts a curated version of reality.

No wonder the nervous system spirals when the path disappears or the unknown and sometimes unwanted looms. 

The truth is that life is wider than one exam, one institution, one next step. But to access that wider view, you first need to soothe the shock. Let the body stabilise. Reduce the alarm. THEN have a good look at what you want your nervous system to be like for this next chapter. That’s where a session can help you or your child shift from panic to possibility.

One of the many reasons we fear change - The illusion of permanence. 

Buddhism teaches impermanence, that everything changes. Thoughts rise and pass. Feelings flow like the weather. Identities evolve. Clinging, whether to what was or what might come, is what creates suffering.

Science agrees. At a molecular level, nothing is still. Even the chair beneath you is in motion (just too slow for you to see). Permanance is a story we tell ourselves, and the truth is, it can cause us pain. It moves us away from feeling capable in the face of the unknown; it creates in us a sense of loss. 

So why do we expect life to stay the same? Why do we treat grades, roles, or job titles as permanent definitions of who we are? We all know we are not any of these labels. We all know what's deeply important, but that doesn't stop our innate drive not to be rejected. So what if we feel we have been?

Yet when culture overlays comparison, with parents, peers and curated reels, that impermanence starts to feel like inadequacy.

The work is to notice the change, breathe with it, and let it move through without trying to hold it still. The right support makes this possible. For our nervous system, this could be a  Havening session. The answer for our psyche could be acceptance. NOT accepting what is true creates dissonance within us, this you will know as fear, worry, panic, anger, shame, guilt, insomnia, headaches, nausea, loss of appetite...

Acceptance says these grades and offers are snapshots. Passing moments. They don't define me, my values or my future.

Self Haven, exercise 'I define myself based on my own values.'

My Own Journey with Letting Go

When my son went to university in 2019, I was a mixed up bag of emotions, my biggest feeling wasn’t pride or excitement, it was guilt. Guilt that I wanted him to go. Brutal, but true.

By then, I was running on fumes. Neurodiversity in the family was colliding with my own perimenopause, and there were moments I wasn’t sure I was going to get him to adulthood with both of us in one piece. I couldn't believe I wanted him to go. My absolute heartbeat was leaving for Uni and I was full of nerves, relief, and the impending peace, break and freedom. What sort of mother worth her salt WANTS her son to leave home? Turns out, I wasn't the only one. Knowing other mums were feeling the same didn't stop the guilt. Then came the day to leave.

I won’t sugar it: I was a puddle of a woman. The tears flowed endlessly as we drove, through laughter, through snot, through little pauses where I tried to remind him of all the things I wanted etched in his brain before he flew. We laughed, I cried. I stopped at the lights, looked left and saw another mother with a car full to bursting, also in tears; we must be near to uni, I wonder if she was also a mix bag of emotions?

The drive home was surreal. I felt like a costume of a person, emptied of all substance. For the first time in my adult life, I pulled up to a house that was completely mine, with no one waiting inside, no compromises, no questions, no mess! The tears subsided quickly, and I skipped up the path, closed the door, peeled off my clothes right there in the hallway, because I could. For the first time, I had space. Time. Myself.

And then the rhythm of life unfolded. Between my visits to see him and his visits home, Christmas came around fast, and in what felt like a heartbeat, it was lockdown. Suddenly, he was home full-time, laundry in tow, filling the kitchen with his appetite and the house with his presence. That time apart, which had felt so seismic and final, revealed itself to be only one page of a chapter in an ongoing story of coming and going, letting go and reconnecting.

What's next for you, Mum?

For many parents, especially mothers, the empty bedroom can feel like a wound. Years of being needed, of routine and repetition, dissolve. And even when you feel proud, even when you knew this moment would come, the nervous system still registers loss.

Who am I now?
What is my worth if I’m no longer needed daily?
What do I do with all this space and time? (For some of us, the answer is liberation, for some there is grief and for most, a variety of shades in between)

These are not problems to fix. They’re invitations to feel. To grieve. To recalibrate... and when you are ready to REINVENT!

Sessions can help you tend to that grief, settle the loops, and meet this new chapter with curiosity instead of collapse.

For students heading into university or stepping off the expected path, the fear can loop hard.

What if I fail? What if I don’t belong? What if I’m not enough? What if my parents are disappointed?

These aren’t just thoughts. They are nervous system states.

Havening works directly with the body-brain connection to calm those loops, downregulate the internal alarms, and restore a sense of grounded safety. From there, confidence becomes reachable. Adaptability feels natural. The unknown becomes a doorway instead of a drop.

Transitions are thresholds. These are the moments when the brain rewires. What gets anchored here – steadiness or fear, confidence or collapse – can echo for years.

Left unsupported, anxiety can harden into identity. I’m just not good enough.
With the right support, these same moments become springboards. I can meet change. I can trust my process. I can pivot. I trust myself to make the best of what I have. I'm just getting started; it is safe for my path to unfold a different way.

Often, the heaviest pressure isn’t results or transitions. It’s comparison.

Sibling comparison. Peer comparison. Instagram comparison. Internalised shoulds.

Comparison adds weight to an already tender moment. It clouds your own clarity. Sessions can help you unhook from that noise, and return to what’s true for you – your values, your timing, your way forward.

A session gives your nervous system a chance to exhale. Havening uses touch and delta-wave brain states to soothe the amygdala, reduce distress, and open new pathways for safety and possibility.

Clients often leave feeling clearer, steadier, lighter. Not after months of talking, but often after just one session. It doesn’t remove your emotions. It helps you PROCESS them, without being swept away.

If you, or your child, or your family, are standing in the midst of results, university decisions, or the quiet of an emptying home, you don’t have to do it alone.

You’ll still put on your own shoe. Still take your own steps forward. But sometimes, all it takes is a steady arm to hold, just long enough to find your balance.

That’s what I offer. Support. Steadiness. A space to reset, and find your footing for what’s next.

✨Book a discovery call here or reach out via email [email protected] to book your session. 

Did you know I also offer double sessions? These are designed for two people – partners, a parent and child, or two parents facing change side by side. You’ll share the session, settle your nervous systems together, and leave feeling lighter, closer, and more resourced.

In fact, one of the most powerful things about a double session is that it teaches you how to hold space for each other in a meaningful way. You both learn tools you can keep using — before they leave, during the transition, and throughout the degree years ahead. It’s not just about easing the nerves now, but about building a steady foundation you can return to again and again.

And don’t worry, they really will be back before you know it, arms full of dirty laundry and stories about how shockingly expensive food is.