The Third Pillar of Healing: Psychosensory Therapy and Touch-Based Healing

There Had to Be Another Way

When I discovered Havening, I was battered and bruised from trying every possible method of ‘feeling better’. CBT left me worse off. Some techniques, like breathwork, helped me relax briefly, but the effect never lasted. Talking therapy unsettled my nervous system for days. I could hardly believe there was no way to resolve emotional pain and the unhelpful, ingrained beliefs I carried.

When I first encountered the touch-based healing method known as Havening, I had never even heard of psychosensory therapy. I had no idea how gentle and life-changing it would prove to be. I was never asked to dredge up my worst memories or talk through every emotion. Instead, I found I could actually release patterns from my nervous system and move forward. Science now supports what so many people have discovered: this third approach to therapy is gaining solid ground.

The Two Familiar Pillars: Talking and Medication

For decades, the two pillars of healing have been talking therapy and medication. These approaches can help some people. They offer understanding, a sense of distance, and sometimes just enough stability to take the next step. For me, they worked a bit like a cushion, softening my extreme anxiety. Medication created space to begin calming my nervous system, and talking gave me a clearer picture of why I felt the way I did.

Both helped me to feel more settled for about six to nine months. But as I looked deeper for the roots of my anxiety, I realised that I didn’t just lack anxiety — I felt nothing. I had no desire, no spark of joy, and no fear. Coming off the medication was punishing. For months, I endured painful headaches.

When I stopped taking the medication, my ‘stickies’ — the patterns and worries — were still there, waiting to be cleared. Yes, I was calmer, but: Why did I still feel locked in survival mode, constantly on edge? Why did I know so much more about my past, yet still feel the same?

It was like trying to mend a leaking pipe with only a spanner and tape. They might help temporarily, but they do nothing for the actual source of the leak.

What if the very system that holds our emotional pain has been neglected? The nervous system. The part of us that holds on to what the conscious mind tries to forget, yet cannot stop from triggering.

The Third Pillar: Psychosensory Recovery

The term psychosensory may sound unfamiliar. Yet it combines ancient wisdom with modern research. It means using sensory input — especially touch — to calm the nervous system, reshape how memories are stored, and rebuild a sense of safety in mind and body.

Think of trauma as a song stuck on repeat. Psychosensory techniques such as Havening help lift the needle from the record. They don’t force you to listen again — instead, they help the body to let go.

Havening supports delta brainwaves (linked to deep sleep and recovery), stimulates the vagus nerve, and creates the right conditions for change. In simple terms, it helps the brain stop responding as if the danger is still there.

That calm you feel? It’s real, not imagined. If you don’t feel calm, that’s real too — a chemical response triggered when your brain matches a stored ‘danger’ pattern with something it senses in the present. Havening works to update the threat response so your system no longer sets off the alarm.

Why Touch Works: What the Brain Reveals

When we apply calming, rhythmic touch to the arms, hands, face, or even thighs (as you may have practised with me), the body increases oxytocin (linked to bonding), serotonin (linked to a sense of wellbeing), and lowers cortisol (the stress hormone). At the same time, the parasympathetic nervous system switches on, moving us away from survival mode and towards rest and recovery.

It goes further still. When someone works with a challenging memory or feeling during Havening and applies touch with specific distractions, the brain can reduce the emotional charge around that memory. Technically, this shifts the receptors where the alarm was stored in the amygdala. The memory remains, but its emotional power softens.

This power of touch has roots in how primary caregivers soothe infants. That sense of connection can be cultivated through Havening in daily practice, with far-reaching results for wellbeing. This includes not only emotional health but also physical health. Those who have joined my Soma and Parts Training will know how we explore the links between emotional and physical symptoms.

A review published in December 2024, The Neurophysiological Impact of Touch-Based Therapy: Insights and Clinical Benefits by Bonanno et al, showed that “by targeting nerve pathways through gentle stroking, touch-based therapy can directly regulate pain pathways, lower stress, encourage oxytocin bonding, and improve emotional wellbeing — offering a non-invasive route to healing chronic physical and psychological distress.”

The evidence for touch-based healing is growing, though more research is still needed.

I’m Not Broken — So Why Does My Body Still React?

Have you ever found yourself in tears because of a scent you couldn’t name, or jolted by someone’s tone of voice? That’s not random. That’s trauma echoing through your system — in your brain, your body, and your beliefs.

Trauma does not settle in just one place. It lives in the brain through the amygdala and its threat signals; in the body through felt sensations (like a knot in your stomach); and in your beliefs through the meanings you gave those moments — beliefs about yourself or the world.

These three records — neurological, physical, and mental — explain why trauma can keep speaking long after the event has ended, activating you whenever something similar appears now. And it doesn’t have to be a dramatic event. Subtle experiences can also stay with us: being dismissed, feeling ignored, enduring chronic stress, or experiencing emotional disconnection. When the system cannot resolve something, it holds on to it.

It’s like a smoke alarm that shrieks every time you make toast. The system isn’t broken. It just recorded details that are no longer relevant.

Real Healing Is Gentle. That’s Why It Works.

Many of my clients have tried therapy, EMDR, breathwork, and more. Some found relief, but many arrived exhausted from revisiting old wounds.

What sets Havening apart is its gentleness. It does not push you to dig or retell your story. It helps you unravel things safely. There are no scripts, no demands. It supports your brain’s natural way of recovering through calm, safety, and soothing.

One client described it as “finally being able to exhale after holding my breath for years.”

Where It Fits in Your Life — And Why It Matters

Whether you are a coach, therapist, parent, or simply trying to get through each day, Havening can be part of your toolkit. Many people even take Havening Training to use with friends and family.

Because the world is relentless. Our systems are overwhelmed. So many approaches miss how deeply stress is held in the body.

This is not just about healing your past — it is about opening your future. Giving your body the experience of safety, so your mind can finally relax, play, share, create, connect, explore, and grow.

You Are Not Broken. You Are Simply Ready to Listen to What You Need.

You don’t need to keep telling your story to find peace. You don’t need to repeat your pain to find rest.

There is another way.

It is grounded in science. It is kind. And it begins with something familiar: touch.

If you feel ready to explore these methods for yourself or your clients, book a discovery call or explore my upcoming trainings.

Slow your breath. Rest your body, and gently move your hands along your arms from shoulder to elbow. And remember: healing does not have to be hard. It can be kind — and it should always be led by you.